For all my grammar freaky friends, this blog will undoubtedly drive you batty. I will be as unethically grammatically wrong as possible to make my point with pictures, runons, and inappropriately placed punctuation. Jus' sayin' ahead of time: )
I slowed down today, when on a normal day, I wake up racing to the coffee pot, drink one cup really fast while making breakfast for my brood, start a few projects on the computer, answer more than a few phone calls, run someone to somewhere that needs to be there NOW, only to do the same repetition of activities two more times during the day. At the tail end of that day, take a shower that puts me to sleep before I stumble to the bed. Today was a different travel for me and an intentional one at that. I realized that my little one was asking me to look at him in the face. One of my teenagers mumbled something in passing that did not even register until he was headed up the stairs. My 5 year old daughter said she did not feel special today...........................that one hurt a little more than I wanted to admit to at first. It is true that I "have alot on my plate" with 9 kids at home, a husband worn smooth out, and a business to run almost alone. I thrive on the activity of it all most days, but TODAY I had to tell myself
STOP!!STOP!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP!!!
STOP!!!! STOP!!!!!
I took a deep breath, which I reccommend to all who have over-achieving brain activity in order to allow more oxygen in. I called a friend who could relate to most of all what I was going through, but certainly not the kid factor. My goodness, how easily we dive into the activity that surrounds those we love without much thought to how the activity may just be a selfish endeavor covered up by a blanket of reasons why we love those people in our lives. Might be is all I said becuase I certainly don't think I am only doing these things for myself. I am saying that once in a while, look into those little eyes and love 'em back no matter how inconvienent it might seem. Sip the coffee instead of down it for the next two or three.(Some of us are also guilty of the monster addiction: )) The handholding and kissing in a normal day is far over looked by those in my position too. So very little investment that I almost overlooked the HUGE returns! Life is crazy enough.....I KNOW because I actually stopped and read some news today. THIS I DO NOT RECCOMMEND TOO OFTEN. I don't know who realy cares anymore or who truly listens to my rants, but I do know that we all seem to be hurting and hurting the wrong people in our lives...not that you should hurt ANYONE, but it is inevitable if you chose to love someone else. Sometimes, we hurt those closest to us because we cannot see past the last one we loved that hurt us. Seems to me that it is all so messed up way too often and it makes my heart sad at being anything remotely close to a hurt for someone I say I love dearly..........stay connected. Stay soft. Don't buy into that line of thought that the HURTING ONES have to believe in to survive. I took a deep breath today. Loved on my little ones more. Went to McDonalds with my 5 yr old(which I cannot personally stand!) Took time to pray with them before bed. (Even though my two youngest boys decided to secretly get their older brothers super glue and proceed to stick it to their TEETH!!!!! Where do they come up with this stuff!) I sent my husband a "sweet text" and then a hug. I am going to practice, just tomorrow, looking at who is talking to me. Hug my husband when I see him (He is one of the hurting ones without eyes to see me,YET) I am going to listen more than I speak (HAHA I will just write more I think! but that doesn't count : ) The world is just as crazy, the mean lady at the grocery store will still burn a hole in my head for being in her way, and I will still be behind on my projects until they are done. I will still have just as much to do, but maybe, just maybe! those little changes will change how what I am doing is percieved by the LOVED ONES in my circle of life. I stopped, and took a deep breath.
NOTATION:
Some elements of my rant may not make sense to some, hit spot on for others and be completely picked apart by a few left.....but I sure hope that it was condusive enough for YOU to have taken something with you when you finished. We, NONE OF US, are perfect, but don't settle for the UN'S IM'S and IN'S at all.
unloving
inconsiderate
unattentive
intolerant
unappreciative
inappropriate
uncaring
untrusting
impatient
unsharing
impertinant
unreasonable
